Master manipulators and powerful persuaders do this...

In most things there is an easy way and a hard way,  Strange as this may sound, most choose the later.   It's not that they want to do things the hard way, it's just that no one ever explained to them the concept of priming.  (I sure wish I would have known this earlier in my career)

So what is priming?

Priming is preparing the other person to be persuaded.  It has little to do with logic and everything to do with managing emotions. The purpose of priming is to create the conditions to make the person receptive to your persuasions. As you read on you will also see how others are using these techniques on you!

It's fun to watch a commercial or walk into a business and think to yourself....hey I know exactly how you guys are trying to influence my buying decisions! And of course  I know you will use these powerful techniques only with the best of intentions, right?

There are many techniques to use when you want to prime your customer to buy into what you are proposing.  In this article I will use just one and post other techniques in later articles.   Ok, lets have some fun...

1.  Using images/visuals to prime your persuasion....

For starters I am using an example popular with the masters of manipulation....politicians.   If you are writing an article on Hillary Clinton and you want to prime the reader to believe she is sincere, warm and open, you of course would use the picture on the left.

Now if you want to prime your reader to think negatively about her, then the picture on the right will do the job nicely.   In this picture she looks harsh, angry and unapproachable. So whenever I see articles about politicians, I can usually guess the bias of the writer  based on the picture selected.

The prime demographic for beer companies is young males.   So they use images of young, healthy and sexy women.  They are trying to prime you to believe that by drinking their beer, you will have more fun than should be legal.   As they say, sex sells.

Just seeing an image of a brain primes us to think what we are about read is more intelligent.   And of course I need all the help I can get.    (but let's keep this our little secret)

Time for a food fight?   This image would prime you to believe that if it's not organic, your food is going to kill you.    Of course if that were true we all be dead by now!    But then again  organic food is a hugely profitable business....hmmmm!  (follow the money)

This is an image that was used by Fox News.   They were priming their viewers to believe that welfare rates were sky rocketing out of control.   In reality the increases were small but by not starting the graph at zero, the image creates a very different prospective.

Have you ever really listened to those Viagra and Cialis commercials?   At the end of the commercial they will tell you all of the potential side effects from taking their drug.  When you listen carefully they tell you that it can cause anything from anxiety to 4 hour erections and potential death (kidding).  When I first heard their commercial it made me wonder why would anyone buy it?

Here is what they do to get around that problem.   They show you images of the happy loving couple having a fantastic romantic time.  The images over power the reality of the dangers spoken of.  You are primed to think about romance, love and a perfect relationship and most people don't even process the negative side effects of the drug.

And finally....

You are priming the expectations of your clients by the way that you dress.   Are you projecting the kind of image that you want to be perceived as because people tend to accept the image you are projecting as real. Think about that?


This is the power of priming with images!   Stay tuned for more priming techniques in coming articles...

Why you don't have to be a genius to be super successful?

According to  Carnegie Institute of Technology research IQ by itself, does not predict financial nor career success.   We all know lots of really smart people who have been bested by someone who can not match their intellect.  Brains and superior technical skills are no match for someone with average brains and technical skills and who also has superior people skills.

It amazes me how little time is spent in business schools teaching people skills.   It has also occurred to me that they should also teach a course in "How to be likeable" because....

This is what my course, blog and soon to be released book 'Power Persuasion' are all about.  Learning how to communicate, negotiate, lead and infuence.  To teach you how to be gain;  respect, trust and likeability. These are skills are fun and easy to learn and even more fun to teach to others.

 

What is the one simple thing that makes life easier?

Yesterday I was asked this question....with all the research you've done on persuasion, what is the one simple thing that that any person could do to become more persuasive?   Great question!  I asked for a little time to mull that over in skull.

The answer came to me and I realized that this one thing not only makes you more persuasive but it also makes like easier and ton more fun.

So let the banners fly and the bells ring out, here is my brilliant reply...

Smile more often!

Smiles and laughter break down our defenses.   We get energized around happy people.  And we always have time for those who can put a smile on our face.   

Even seeing cartoon happy faces like the one above can lift a persons mood.   So the lesson is..

"Give yourself permission to laugh and smile more often and others will want to be around you plus it's really good for business"

So dump that serious look because it's bad for business and your relationships.   Too much seriousness sucks the energy out of people.  Lighten up!

Want to be more persuasive and  enjoy life....smile more often!

It's just that easy...

OOPS....forgot to mention, it's got to be a genuine smile.   We know a fake or false smile when we see it.  So if the person you are about to flash your pearly whites isn't the kind of person who you could give a genuine smile to, think of someone you really like and then smile with them in mind.  

How to use subliminal persuasion

Confession time:

One thing I really don't like is when people say to me,  I disagree with you!

Despite the fact that I consider myself to be open minded and receptive to other people's ideas, for some dang reason those words, I disagree with you puts me into defensive mode.  It feels like I am being challenged and no one including me wants to be wrong.  I find myself expending my mental energy conjuring up reasons why I am right and they are wrong.  And expending next to no energy thinking why they just might be right.

From that point on I not really listening to them.

 Conversely when someone listens to my ideas, proposals or beliefs and says, I agree with you Edward well that tickles me pink.  I feel validated, appreciated and on a little high.  That person then has my full attention and I am more than willing to listen most anything they have to say going forward.

 I am not alone in thinking this way!   It's human nature.

Now after reading that let me read your mind...

You are thinking to yourself....ok Mr Wise Guy what am I supposed to do when I disagree with someone? How am I going to get them to listen and appreciate my opinion?    Funny you should ask.    Here is my more than brilliant response...(he said humbly)

Use subliminal persuasion!

Bet you didn't see that one coming?   Let me show you how it works.   I'll give you 3 examples..

1.  Your customer Bruce says to you, it's too expensive!

Your brilliant response....

I agree with  you Bruce it is expensive.  You are not the only one that feels that way.  And  so many of my clients still choose our service because our superior service paid off for them in the long run both in time and money spent..

Why it works?

* Bruce loves that you agree with him.  He feels like you are really listening to him.  However, you didn't agree that it was too expensive only that it was expensive.  

*He also likes it when you say his name.

* Bruce appreciates that he is not the only one that feels this way.  (social validation)

* You didn't use that horrible 'but' word instead substituted it with 'and'.  

* His resistance to you is lowered with this subliminal technique and he is then receptive to  your logic that follows after the 'because'.

2. Your partner Mary says to you...we never go out anymore!

Your brilliant response....

I agree  Mary we don't go out as often as we used to.  And I also really value our home time.  Why don't we go out for supper on Friday because it will be fun?

Why it works...

*  Mary likes it that you agree with her.  She feels listened to.  However, you didn't agree that you never go out, only that you don't go out as often as you used to.

*  She likes hearing her name.

*  She likes hearing that you enjoy home time with her. (a compliment)

*  You offered a small compromise (going out for supper on Friday)

3.  Your employee Rob says to you, I don't think I can reach these sales goals, I'm working as hard as I can.

Your brilliant response....

I agree Rob, you are working  hard.  And I see that with some time management and a little better client preparation that you have the ability to produce more.  How can I help you reach your goals because I really want to see you succeed?

Why it works...

* Rob likes it that you agree he works hard.  He feels appreciated.

* He likes to hear his name

* You offered a solution along with assistance

* By saying you want to see him succeed implies you are on his side.

This is important...

Never, never use the word but!  Use 'and' in it's place as I did in the examples above.   People  will automatically tune you out if you use that word.   No buts about it!

All you need to remember about my formula is..

1.  I agree with you _________.
2.  And__________________'
3.  Because_______________

now you fill in the blanks

My last bit of advice...

Write out the most common objections you hear in business and at home.   Then write out your brilliant
response.   Memorize it!

Ok, you are now good to go.   You will succeed with this technique because you are brilliant!


Pssst......

Did you enjoy this article?   If you did, may I ask a small favor?  Just hit the share button and together we can share some brilliance with others because that's what we like to do, right?  Thanks!

To sell like a superstar....sell like a friend!

"Your first objective is not to make the sale it is to start a relationship."

Before you can persuade anyone to buy your product or service you must first get past their resistance.   If you try to close a sale before you've gained some trust, respect or likeability you will likely fail.   The natural tendency is to say no to any proposal that isn't the status quo.    No one wants to be sold anything. However we do like to buy, especially if it is from someone we like, trust or respect.


 Here are  7 ways to make them feel like you are their friend...

1.  Use their first name often.   Start and end every conversation with their first name.   People love to hear their name.   It is highly personal.   If they hear it being said often enough it will start to feel like you are a friend.   Also start and end with their first name if you are emailing or texting them. This is a very powerful tip that I hope you don't discount.   That's why I made it the first tip!

2.  Always be looking for something to like about the person.  If you start liking them they will start liking you.

3.  Seek the similarities.   It's the things that we have in common with others that is the basis of how most friendships are started.   It was my love of boating and being on the water that led me to great friendships with others who shared my passion.    We all tend to like people who share our interests and passions.

4.  Show interest in what they like.    People love to talk about two things;  themselves and the things they love.    So ask lots of questions about them and their interests.

5. Friends give friends small unexpected gifts.    So show up with a small gift and watch their resistance melt away.   It can be as small a gift as a cup of coffee.  Just remember that gifts with your company name will be considered as advertising and will not create gratitude or reciprocity.  Don't do that.

6. Greet them and say good bye like you would to a good friend.   Big smile, eye contact and an energetic warm greeting or good bye.   Act a little excited to see them and they will be receptive to meet you.

7.  Make a commitment to developing a friendship.    One meeting just won't do it.   You are not going to gain trust with just one meeting.   Familiarity breeds likeability.  Likeability leads to friendship and friendship begets trust.  Trust leads to lots of business and that leads to becoming a superstar!

BONUS...pretending that the person you are about to meet for the first time is a friend causes you to relax and make a much better first impression.    Same goes when I am giving a presentation to a group.   I pretend in my head that they are my friends and a lot of the nervousness goes away. 

 Try it!