Priming (its magic for persuaders and manipulators)

In most things there is an easy way and a hard way,  Strange as this may sound, most choose the later.   It's not that they want to do things the hard way, it's just that no one ever explained to them the concept of priming.  (I sure wish I would have known this earlier in my career)

So what is priming?

Priming is preparing the other person to be persuaded.  It has little to do with logic and everything to do with managing emotions. The purpose of priming is to create the conditions to make the person receptive to your persuasions. As you read on you will also see how others are using these techniques on you!

It's fun to watch a commercial or walk into a business and think to yourself....hey I know exactly how you guys are trying to influence my buying decisions! And of course  I know you will use these powerful techniques only with the best of intentions, right?

There are many techniques to use when you want to prime your customer to buy into what you are proposing.  In this article I will use just one and post other techniques in later articles.   Ok, lets have some fun...

1.  Using images/visuals to prime your persuasion....

For starters I am using an example popular with the masters of manipulation....politicians.   If you are writing an article on Hillary Clinton and you want to prime the reader to believe she is sincere, warm and open, you of course would use the picture on the left.

Now if you want to prime your reader to think negatively about her, then the picture on the right will do the job nicely.   In this picture she looks harsh, angry and unapproachable. So whenever I see articles about politicians, I can usually guess the bias of the writer  based on the picture selected.

The prime demographic for beer companies is young males.   So they use images of young, healthy and sexy women.  They are trying to prime you to believe that by drinking their beer, you will have more fun than should be legal.   As they say, sex sells.

Just seeing an image of a brain primes us to think what we are about read is more intelligent.   And of course I need all the help I can get.    (but let's keep this our little secret)

Time for a food fight?   This image would prime you to believe that if it's not organic, your food is going to kill you.    Of course if that were true we all be dead by now!    But then again  organic food is a hugely profitable business....hmmmm!  (follow the money)

This is an image that was used by Fox News.   They were priming their viewers to believe that welfare rates were sky rocketing out of control.   In reality the increases were small but by not starting the graph at zero, the image creates a very different prospective.

Have you ever really listened to those Viagra and Cialis commercials?   At the end of the commercial they will tell you all of the potential side effects from taking their drug.  When you listen carefully they tell you that it can cause anything from anxiety to 4 hour erections and potential death (kidding).  When I first heard their commercial it made me wonder why would anyone buy it?

Here is what they do to get around that problem.   They show you images of the happy loving couple having a fantastic romantic time.  The images over power the reality of the dangers spoken of.  You are primed to think about romance, love and a perfect relationship and most people don't even process the negative side effects of the drug.

And finally....

You are priming the expectations of your clients by the way that you dress.   Are you projecting the kind of image that you want to be perceived as because people tend to accept the image you are projecting as real. Think about that?


This is the power of priming with images!   Stay tuned for more priming techniques in coming articles...

The magic of being silly

“being silly is a delicious escape from the shackles of reality”

And you thought being silly was, ah…silly. The stewards of seriousness have been playing with your mind. They want you to buckle down, grow up, work hard and have no damn fun. So you were trained to believe that silly isn’t serious. Well, good thing for you that I am here to straighten out this mess. Silly is stunningly, serious stuff! Silly is greatly underrated and underappreciated. Someone has to set the record straight and I am just the guru to do it.

“if you lose the ability to be silly, you are susceptible to becoming a slave”

Ok, suspend your belief that I am bonkers for a few moments and stay with me, while I enlighten you. First, silly is misunderstood. Forget those notions about silly being a useless waste of an adults life. Silly has many benefits. It can make you happier and richer. And as I stated, the absence of silly might make you a slave.

You see when they shake the silly out of you, you become more compliant. You believe the mantra’s of the warrior’s that sign your pay check. You start to believe that ‘slow and steady’ wins the race, and hard work will be rewarded (that’s management code for, I pay you a little, you work your butt off and we the company make a lot of money). Slowly but steadily you slip into master/slave mode, all the while thinking that what you are doing for the master, is what is best for you. With silly you see the impossible as possible and the dream of the big escape is alive.

“silly is like a bonk on the head to the serious”

The word silly is derived from the German word ‘selig’ which means sacred or holy (I know…who knew). So when you are being silly, you are actually reaching a higher level of consciousness. You are closer to that place where creativity resides. Silly removes the impossible faster than a reality star can take off her clothes. With silly anything is possible. It opens the mind to all that is possible, it removes the blinders that have deceived your inner genius. Silly and her mate goofy are the parents of that beautiful child…creativity.

Through the years they have changed the word silly, to mean a useless behaviour as practised by adults. Not so bucko. Silly is incredibly useful. As I’ve explained silly enables creativity. Any brain storming session (mine is called fun-storming, but more of that later) should commence with silliness. This opens the mind to being truly creative. The sillier the better!

“silliness is a high creativity and a high energy state”

This one was a no brainer for me. It has been well documented that belly laughter is equal to a physical workout. And guess which activity gives you the best belly laughs? Right, being silly! So you get in a state perfect for developing creative ideas and you get a work out that makes you laugh at the same time. Still think that silly is silly? But wait, there’s more…

“silly is a shortcut to bonding”

Silly is most on display when children are playing. That is how they learn and bond. But this also works for big kids like us. We have all seen parents playing silly with their kids. Now, its time to dust off silly and play with your big friends. Silly is the crazy glue that bonds consenting adults (sorry saying consenting adults, just sounded funnier than saying friends).

“it’s silly to worry about past mistakes, when there is so much fun to be had making new one’s”

The thing that prevents us from making more mistakes (and subsequently learning new things) is that we fear making a fool of ourselves. Once you get comfortable with silly, you will have developed a confidence that fears no criticism. You will be free to explore and discover new possibilities. Failure will mean you are trying and having fun doing it. Doesn’t that blow your ever loving mind….having fun with failure?

“why seducers love being silly”

I’ve given you a pile of good reasons to be silly but I just love saying….but wait there is more! Yep, silly is seductive. You knew that was coming didn’t you? Silly is super seductive. It displays confidence and fun which in combination are so damn attractive, as to be irresistible. Who can resist a good belly laugh, it is highly contagious.

Ok, class is over…now go out there and make a fool of yourself, it‘s for the good of your health and your pocketbook. And no thanks necessary, you can buy me a beer later (I‘ll probably be on the beach laughing at some serious warrior).

You matter when...

You matter when....

When you love the work you do and the people you do it with.

When you are so gracious, generous and aware that you think of other people before yourself.

You are the problem solver not the problem creator.

When you leave the world a better place than you found it.

When you continue to raise the bar on what you do and how you do it.

When you teach and forgive before you rush to judge and demean.

When you touch the people in your life through your actions (and your words).

When kids grow up wanting to be you (or inspired by you).

When someone knows you love them unconditionally.

When you see the world as it is but insist on making it more like it coul be.

When you inspire a Nobel prize winner or a slum dweller.

When the room brightens when you walk in.

When you give someone you total undivided attention.

And when the legacy you leave behind lasts for hours, days or a lifetime.

When you cause someone to have a good belly laugh.

Your turn.....what would you add to the list?

Instant like ability!

"We are most easily persuaded by those who like and admire us"

Even the most powerful people appreciate public praise.   I have yet to witness anyone who disliked having kind words said about them to others.   Some may say it embarrasses them and maybe that is so but inside they love it.  When we are witness to someone telling others about how wonderful or talented we are it causes us to like that person.   It just feels good.

But wait it gets better...

When you praise someone in public it doesn't just affect the person on the receiving end of the praise.   It also affects those that are witness to the praise.  It has a positive affect on their opinion of the one doing the praising.   We like those that are generous to others as long as we believe they are sincere.   If it is phony praise meant to suck up to someone important then it becomes an extreme negative and can ruin your reputation.

5 Benefits of being a public praiser...

1.  Whatever resistance to you or your ideas is melted away by the  appreciation for a sincere compliment made in public.  That person is then open to at least hearing out your requests or ideas.

2.  Deepens the bonds of friendship and like ability.

3.  It is a confidence builder for both you and the other person.

4.  As long as it is perceived as genuine others will admire you and sometimes secretly wonder if you might one day praise them publicly.

5.  When you get really good at it, you can make people cry  (especially women)  and nobody calls you a jerk for doing it.

Bonus..

When you shine the spotlight on someone else they will love you for it.     And making others feel good also makes us feel good about ourselves.



Something to really think about...

"If you get your business based on the best price, product or service; you could lose that business when someone with a better price, product or service comes along.   However, if they like you then you  really have to screw up before they will take their business elsewhere"