A simple way to appear to be smart

"Taking notes can make you appear to be more intelligent and persuasive"



More intelligent....

Our brain makes assumptions all of the time.   Some we are aware of but most are subconscious assumptions.   Strange as it may seem we interpret a note taker as being more intelligent.

We perceive the note taker as being focused and thorough.  It brings up images of Doctors and Lawyers who must get things recorded accurately.   It also makes us feel that every word we say is important.   And anyone focused so intently on what I say must be intelligent.   Right?

More persuasive...

When someone is trying to persuade us and starts out by sincerely trying to understand our thoughts and beliefs, we pay attention.  And we assume they are sincere because they take the time to record our thoughts.   A person who  takes notes on what we say, causes us to feel important and which in turn lowers  our resistance to that person.  We feel appreciated and understood.

When the cops are interviewing witnesses they take notes on what they are told.  One of the reasons is because they know that the person being questioned is going to give more accurate answers when they see that their answers are being recorded.  

The effect of note taking is also that most people start to open up and reveal the real objections to the persuasion. 

And here's the real good stuff...

"When they feel they have been heard and understood their minds are open to hear what we are going to propose"

Imagine how you would feel if you were talking to someone and they said something likes this....

"I really like what you just said so give me a second, I'd like write that down" 

Or...."That sounds important to me so let me write that down"

Note taking is a powerful persuasion skill!

Do...

*  Use a quality pen not one of those company logo pens you swiped from the convenience store

*  Use a quality pad or portfolio.   Extra points... if it has a leather cover.

Don't..

*  Try to write down every dang word.   That would be annoying.  Just jog down important points.    Extra points...if you say something like...'excuse me but that seems important I'd like make a note of that'

Bonus...

When you are note taking you do less talking and more listening!   People who listen and ask more questions are viewed as more intelligent than blabber mouths.   

Quit doing things the hard way?

Imagine that you are on this tropical beach laying in that hammock. It is a beautiful sunny day with a gentle breeze off of the ocean. You are warm, relaxed and peaceful. The sun feels sooo good on your body. You are totally contented and happy. Swaying gently in your hammock the thought occurs to you, if I have any problems I can't remember them. Live is good and you are at total peace with yourself in this warm tropical paradise.

Now think about me the writer (that would be me). How do you feel about me?  Odds are that if you really allowed yourself to imagine being in that hammock on the beach that you will feel positive about me. Just by imagining being warm and relaxed improves your feelings about me or anyone else you immediately come into contact with.

So why am I telling you this? Because the feeling of warmth is very seductive. If you want to persuade someone to or to buy your product or service you should always try to warm them up first. This is a persuasion technique called priming. It is priming you with a good feeling before introducing any request.

I'm not saying that you should bring them pictures of tropical beaches (but it might help). There are many ways to warm up a person. Here are a few...

Give them a hot drink. Researchers found that just holding a hot drink (without drinking it) caused people to feel warmer towards others. They also found that when people were given a hot drink they became more generous and more likely to give. So you want your sweetie to do something for you, give them a hot drink first.

A warm handshake warms both of you. Now if you live in a cold climate you need to ensure that you warm up your hands before shaking hands with someone. If you know are going to be introduced to someone, you can discretely warm up your hands. Just rub your hands together rapidly. They won't know why but they will instantly feel a closer bond with you by shaking a warm hand. Cool huh?

TIP.....Imagine you are about to meet someone.  Before you are introduced hold a hot cup of coffee in your right hand. Just before you shake hands transfer the cup to your left hand.  Your hand will be nice and warm. Sub consciously the other person will just assume you to be a warm person because we all know that warm hands equal a warm heart, right?  That first impression is so powerful and research says...lasting. Try it!

Who doesn't love a good hug? Sadly there are a very few who don't like to be touched but not many. The problem is its not a good idea to hug people you just met in a business situation. But if you are going to persuade someone you know and you can safely hug them they will melt in agreement. Just thinking about this makes me want a hug?

I know a business lady who hugs her clients whenever they meet. They love her and wouldn't dream of taking their business elsewhere. Because...

"When you earn your business with the best price, product or service...you might lose that business if someone else has a better price, product or service. But if they really like you....you really have to screw up before they go elsewhere"

A great smile will warm any heart. You've got it so use it! It's darn near impossible to resist returning a great smile.

Warm words. Researchers found that when bell hops went to carry bags from a room for guests that if they mentioned it was a beautiful sunny day their tips increased. Just talking about a sunny day was enough to warm up the other person. So words matter. Oh, by the way did I mention its going to be a beautiful sunny day today? And how would you feel about buying me a Baileys and coffee?

And finally....

That's right....its good to have beautiful sunny images to warm up you and your clients. Researchers have found that just by looking at pictures like the one above it also makes you more creative. So right now my desktop background picture is this one.

Now that I've warmed you up to my ideas, did you know that I love teaching others how to become....'Powerfully Persuasive'?

Contact me at edsemail@shaw.ca and lets talk if you want to laugh and learn at your next event?

Can you be too professional?

"An ounce of personalization is worth a pound of professionalism"

The world has changed and most people haven't noticed.   The old rule for business success was to achieve a high level of professionalism.  And while our clients and customers expect a certain level of professionalism,  they want more even more.  

Competition today is far more intense and our clients are getting bombarded with massive information and sales pitches for products and services.   So what they crave is to like, trust and respect those they do business with so that they can simplify their decisions and choices.

"If you earn your business by having the best price, product or service you might one day lose that business to the next guy who comes along with a better price, product or service.   But if they really like you then you have to really screw up before they will go elsewhere"  

It all starts with liking who they deal with.   Because all things being equal we prefer and most often do business with those we like and get this.....all things being unequal we still frequently chose to do business with those we  like!  This is why its sometimes better to ease up on the professionalism and get more personal.

Making personal relationships with clients and customers is so incredibly important and the methods to do that are endless.   Mostly I just want you to appreciate how important it is and to give just a few examples to stir your creative juices about how to build a lasting rapport with your clients.

Get personal

Now a days it seems the only people that call you Mr. Mrs or Ms is probably one of the following:

Police
Tax man
Bill collector

Not exactly a fun group to get a call from.   So as you can imagine where it was once a sign of respect today it puts people on edge when someone says....hello Ms Brown this is...etc.   However, when someone says...hi Rachel this is...    Well you get the idea, first names are personal and last names are professional. First names are what our friends and family call us.  Get personal to get the sale!

The sweetest sound to a human is our own name,,,

Start and end all emails, letters and conversations with a persons name.   Use their name as often as you can without sounding unnatural or salesy.   It sounds so simple but like others before you who have tried this...you will be amazed at the difference.  People like to  hear and read their name.   Using it goes a long way to create likeability and trust. 

Seek similarities

Professionals are taught to identify the customers problems and opportunties and then build their presentation around that.   Then they move in for the close. 

"Your first objective is not to make a sale, it is start a relationship"

Superstars build trust and likeability long before they even make a presentation.  One of the best ways to do this is to seek the similarities between you and the client.   Did you go to the same college?   Do you cheer for the same sports team?   Do you share a passion for motorcycles?   Do you read the same kinds of books?   Do you belong to similar organizations like; toastmasters or Chamber of Commerce?  Do you both have kids.

You can always find some similarities if you seek them out!

Have you ever been on a holiday in a foreign country and then happened to meet someone from close to where you live?   You felt an immediate connection.   And that's what you are after...a common connection. 

One phrase I've always had a distaste for is....It's just business!   Today its not just business, today it's personal!

Gifts

Do you want to make your corporate gifts more valuable?    Then don't put your company name on it.    I realize that many people think this is effective marketing but it's not.   When you put your company logo on it...it is advertising and is viewed that way by the recipient.   It diminishes the gift and the appreciation of it. 

We've all received calendars, pens and caps with logos etc on them.    And you probably do what I do with them.   Throw them in a drawer somewhere or give them to someone else.

What to make your gift worth more?

Put their name on it!   That's personalization that will long be appreciated and kept.  And don't worry your pretty little head about it....they won't forgot who gave it to them.

"By all means be professional and by all means get personal"

Can taking notes make you be perceived as much intelligent and persuasive?

The strange power of note taking

"Taking notes can make you appear to be more intelligent and persuasive"

 

 



More intelligent....

Our brain makes assumptions all of the time.   Some we are aware of but most are subconscious assumptions.   Strange as it may seem we interpret a note taker as being more intelligent.

We perceive the note taker as being focused and thorough.  It brings up images of Doctors and Lawyers who must get things recorded accurately.   It also makes us feel that every word we say is important.   And anyone focused so intenly on what I say must be intelligent.   Right?

More persuasive...

When someone is trying to persuade us and starts out by sincerely trying to understand our thoughts and beliefs, we pay attention.  And we assume they are sincere because they take the time to record our thoughts.   Note taking causes us to feel important and which in turn lowers  our resistance to that person.  We feel appreciated and understood.

When the cops are interviewing witnesses they take notes on what they are told.  One of the reasons is because they know that the person being questioned is going to give more accurate answers when they see that their answers are being recorded. 

The effect of note taking is also that most people start to open up and reveal the real objections to the persuasion.

And here's the real good stuff...

"When they feel they have been heard and understood their minds are open to hear what we are going to propose"

Note taking is a poweful persuasion skill!

Do...

*  Use a quality pen not one of those company logo pens you swiped from the convenience store

*  Use a quality pad or portfolio.   Extra points... if it has a leather cover.

Don't..

*  Try to write down every dang word.   That would be annoying.  Just jog down important points.    Extra points...if you say something like...'excuse me but that seems important I'd like make a note of that'

Bonus...

When you are note taking you do less talking and more listening!

 

This will make you smarter!

"Why do they call it common sense when it is so rare?"

Lucky for you I had an epiphany yesterday and my aha moment answered the question, what is common sense?   The first clue to the answer is in the sign above?     And just to make it even clearer here is my personal simplest clearest definition of logic....

Brilliant, huh?   That's it, common sense is nothing more that using logic.   So then the next great question is....why is common sense (logic) so rare?

It's because we are not so much thinking beings as we are feeling beings.   We mostly make our decisions based on emotions and feelings..

We all like to think of ourselves as being logical.    Sorry guys, we are all out to lunch on that one.   Here is the truth...

And when it comes down to a show down between logic and our feelings  it is no contest..

The truth is we are moved to take action by our feelings and then justify our decisions with logic.  So feelings first and then logic!    We want to feel good about our choices so its important to us that we can find some logic to back our choices.   Need some proof?

First, think of a bad choice you made in your past?   Next, ask yourself two questions...

1)   What feelings was I experiencing when I made the bad choice?

2)   What logic did I use at that time to justify my decision?

When I tried this on myself, I was surprised and disappointed in myself that I had let my feelings lead me to do something I later regretted.   However, at least I came to understand why I sometimes do stupid things.  

Here is a simple fun example of my childhood stupidity

When I was a kid one of our favorite summer time activities was to go play at the river.   This drove mother nuts because she was always afraid we'd drown or hurt ourselves being unsupervised.....

And that saying above was one of her favorites.    Being kids of course that's what we would do.   We would jump off the bank into the river.  Logic said no, it could be dangerous.   Fun, excitement and peer pressure said...hell yeah!   And as they say, 'it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt' which of course is what happened when one of my buddies broke his leg.   

So why did we do it?    The same reason people get into bad relationships even though logic gave them plenty of reasons to not do it.   Feelings and emotions ran over logic like it was pebble on the road.   Until it was too late and then came the pain.   

So what's a person to do?   That's epiphany number 2!   

When you make decisions based on your heart or a gut feeling you are basing your decision on emotions and feelings.   When you make a decision based on your head, it is from logic.   Here's when it's best to use each one....

So the next time you are mad, frustrated or depressed please don't ever trust your gut feelings.   That's the very time you need to rationally think it out.  Then when you are feeling strong and happy is the perfect time to decide on a new venture (or relationship) by trusting your heart.   

Finally, why don't we use our heads more often (common sense)?   It's because it takes no effort to act on emotions and feelings but thinking is hard work.    We are all a little lazy if we can get away with it.   That's why they created vacations and recess.   We would sooner have fun than think.   We would sooner do most anything than think.   

All that being said, there are times when feelings should precede logic.   It just wouldn't be much fun to always be logical and employ common sense in all of our choices.   Fun is a big part of what makes us human and makes the price of living worthwhile even it isn't logical...

I hope you enjoyed this article as I had fun writing it.    And if you did please share it with others.   That would make my day!   Now the logical and most common sense thing for me to do is to return to my regular work....however, my feelings are over taking my common sense....

P.S.    Keep this in mind,   if you want to get people to do things appeal to their feelings first and then give them logic so they can feel smart about doing what they really want to do anyway.

Can you sell like a superstar and make friends at the same time?

"Make people feel that you are more interested in them as a person than as a customer."

Before you can persuade anyone to buy your product or service you must first get past their resistance.   If you try to close a sale before you've gained some trust, respect or likeability you will likely fail.   The natural tendency is to say no to any proposal that isn't the status quo.    No one wants to be sold anything. However we do like to buy especially if it is from someone we like, trust or respect.

"Your first objective is not to make the sale it is to start a relationship."

 Here are  7 ways to make them feel like you are their friend...

1.  Use their first name often.   Start and end every conversation with their first name.   People love to hear their name.   It is highly personal.   If they hear it being said often enough it will start to feel like you are a friend.   Also start and end with their first name if you are emailing or texting them. This is a very powerful tip that I hope you don't discount.   That's why I made it the first tip!

2.  Always be looking for something to like about the person.  If you start liking them they will start liking you.

3.  Seek the similarities.   It's the things that we have in common with others that is the basis of how most friendships are started.   It was my love of boating and being on the water that led me to great friendships with others who shared my passion.    We all tend to like people who share our interests and passions.

4.  Show interest in what they like.    People love to talk about two things;  themselves and the things they love.    So ask lots of questions about them and their interests.

5. Friends give friends small gifts.    So show up with a small gift and watch their resistance melt away.   It can be as small a gift as a cup of coffee.  Just remember that gifts with your company name on it are considered advertising and do not create gratitude or reciprocity.  Don't do that.

6. Greet them and say good bye like you would to a good friend.   Big smile and an energetic warm greeting or good bye.   Act a little excited to see them and they will be receptive to meet you.

7.  Make a commitment to developing a friendship.    One meeting just won't do it.   You are not going to gain trust with just one meeting.   Familiarity breeds likeability.  Likeability leads to friendship and friendship begets trust.  Trust leads to lots of business and that leads to becoming a superstar!

BONUS...pretending that the person you are about to meet for the first time is a friend causes you to relax and make a much better first impression.    Same goes when I am giving a presentation to a group.   I pretend in my head that they are my friends and a lot of my nervousness goes away. 

 Try it because it works!

Does asking for a favour or advice make people want to help you?

"One of the most effective ways to influence others is to ask for advice or assistance"

Imagine that you are new to a position and you want to persuade a client to give you some business?    She knows that you are inexperienced and your knowledge of her business and of the industry is extremely limited.  What chance would you have of making a sale?   The odds would be pretty low, right?

However, what if you were to say something like this.....'I confess that my knowledge of your business needs is very limited.  And I was wondering if you could give me some advice?   What would I have to do to earn the privilege of doing business with you?    Odds are over-whelmingly strong that she would give you some very valuable advice.

Why?

*  because we programmed to want to help when asked
*  because it is empowering to be asked for help
*  because it is totally non threatening so the client loses her resistance to you

A little story...

Ben Franklin had a political opponent that fought him on every turn.   The man was a pain in the butt to Ben.  A strong dislike was growing between them.    Ben decided to try and turn things around.

Here is what Ben did....

Ben knew the man had a wonderful library of valuable books.   Ben asked the man if he would consider lending him one of his books that Ben was most interested in reading.   He was at first shocked that an advisary would ask for a favor.   He considered Ben's request and relented and loaned the book to Ben.

Then what happened...

Ben read the book and offered gracious thanks for the favor.  Ben noticed the man softened to him and became even friendly.  So what did Ben do?   He asked him for assistance in developing a bill for Congress   He agreed.   They became friends!

Asking for advice or a small favor causes others to be more receptive to us.

Asking for advice is significantly more persuasive than using pressure tactics.   It doesn't build pressure or leave a sour taste. Also, they will tell you how they like to be sold....isn't that beautiful?   And here is an unexpected bonus for asking for advice....

When we ask for advice we are perceived as being more intelligent!   After all, you are showing some wisdom by choosing to ask me for advice"

This is how even an inexperienced person can level the persuasion table.

Pssst.....can I ask you for a small favor?   Would you be so kind as to hit the f button below and share this with your facebook friends?   Because it would make me so happy....thanks!

7 simple ways to viewed as a leader

7 Simple ways to viewed as a leader..

1.  Be the first to speak.   Leaders step up and speak out.   When others see you do that they assume you are a leader.

2.  Introduce yourself first.   When meeting someone new confident people are usually the first to introduce themselves and extend their hand for a handshake.   Be sure to give a warm firm handshake.

3.  Introduce others.   Leaders display their confidence by introducing other people.   It helps to tell the third party something about the person you are introducing (preferably some sort to compliment)

4.  Be a public praiser.   You will win friends and influence people when you praise others in public.   When you praise others in public they will assume you are in an authority position.

5.  Touch others.   Whether it is a handshake or pat on the back, leaders tend to touch others physically as well as emotionally.  (and only appropriately of course)

6.  Look the part.   When deciding whether someone is a leader we automatically ask ourselves do they look like a leader?   Yes, that is shallow I know.  However, we can't help ourselves we are prone to looking for a stereotype.   Is your stereotype that of a leader?

7.  Lots of eye contact.    Leaders are bold and not shy about making eye contact.   It conveys confidence and when accompanied with a warm smile can even cause people to see you as charismatic.