How to become lucky!

"Lucky people talk to more people, do more things and take chances every day"

Who wouldn't want to be lucky?   Well the truth is we can all be luckier than we are today.   All we need to do is take more chances. How many times have you heard this...you can't win if you don't play!  What the line should be is....you can't win if you don't take a chance.

So if you want to get lucky and make a new friend or find a new partner? Take a chance and strike up a conversation with someone new every day.

Want to find a new business opportunity?   Take a chance and contact someone successful and ask for some help.

Always wanted to write a book?   Take a chance and start writing today.  Or take a chance and contact an author and ask for advice.

Got a great idea that you are doing nothing with?   Take a chance and share the idea with others to see if it is viable.  So many worry that others will steal your idea but if you don't take a chance and test it, it probably never see the light of day.   That's where regret is born.

Want to win the lotto?   Take a chance and...buy a ticket...the odds are terrible but you can't win if you don't play. 

Want to become lucky?   Take a chance on something every day.   Sooner or later your luck is going to improve.....I guarantee it!  (the odds are in your favor)

My brilliant conclusion.....people who are luckier than me and probably just taking more chances!   I can fix that....

10 ways to make people think you are smart

When politicians and celebrities are perceived as being from the shallow end of the gene pool one of their favourite ploys is start wearing dark frame glasses.   Add a book and poof...you appear to be a bit smarter. Yeah you could do that to, however I wanted to go a little past the obvious.    So here are some other things you could do...

1.  Simplify your language.

 Both your written and verbal communications should be simple, concise and clear.    Some people think that by using grandiose words or business jargon they will appear to be smart.  Too bad for them because it creates the totally wrong impression.   We don't trust, like or believe people that do that.

2.  Ask lots of questions.  

No one likes know-it-all's.    Those who ask a lot of questions are perceived as being intelligent.   And even better when someone says something meaningful to you pause and  write it down.    Seeing someone write something down that you said makes you think highly of them.

3.  Undivided attention.

Good eye contact shows that you are engaged.   It also displays confidence.   Bonus points if you talk less than they do.

4.  Be expressive.

  

Persuasive communication says you should use body as well as your mouth.  Using gestures commands attention.   Kids are naturally expressive.   Too bad we tend to lose that as we grow older.   Next time you are watching a great speaker notice how expressive he or she is.

5.  Appearances matter a lot.

We are all programmed to make quick impressions of people based on the way they look.   So someone who is smartly dressed and well groomed makes us think they are smart.   Walk tall and like you are important and you will be perceived as such.

6.  Master the pause.

When it is your turn to talk pause for 2 or 3 seconds.   This makes people think you are contemplating your response instead of blurting out the first thing that pops in your head.  And combined with the steeple and you look like a genius....

7.  Steeple.

This is a classic gesture for making people think you are smart.   Smart people do it and so do politicians who want to look smart.   It is really powerful.

8.  Don't swear, smoke or drink too much.

Sure we all swear on occasion but make it a rare exception especially when you are trying to appear smart. Smokers go outside (of course if you are with another smoker than forget this one).

9.  Be funny and laugh a lot.

The best kind of funny is the witty and the self deprecating type of humor.   Mocking others is incredibly negative.   Making fun of yourself (as long as you don't over-do it)  shows confidence.   Being witty is the highest form of humor making you appear smart.

10.  Smile like you know something others don't.  

HELP.....if you have any other ideas to appear smart, I would love it if you share it with us all in the comments.    I need all the help I can get!

Hot off the presses....my new speaking brochure!

(click on picture to enlarge)

Being happy makes you more persuasive and successful

"Research has proven that success does not bring happiness, but rather its happiness that brings success"

We all love to be around happy people and avoid as much as possible negative people.   We get energized by being around happy people. Negative people  just like those who are too serious, suck the energy right out of the room.    So it only makes sense that happy people have more influence over others.  Happy people are more likeable and...

  

MET Life Insurance noticed that their happiest salespeople out performed the others so much so that they decided to try an experiment.    They started hiring sales people who rated high in optimism and happiness even if they performed poorly on their aptitude tests.    What do you think happened?

The happy group outperformed their more pessimistic peers by 19% in the first year and a whopping 57% by year number two!   I should mention here that negative people do not like being referred to as being negative.   They prefer to be called realists (which annoys the heck of those who are actually realists...lol).   

Further research found that only 25% of job success was predicted by intelligence and and technical skills.   75% of a persons long term job success depends on 3 other categories that affect happiness;  optimism, social connections and how you perceive stress.  So if you want to up your happiness, success and ability to influence others here are a few tips...

Optimism

*  Understand the past does not equal the future.
*  You are who you are but you will become what you do.   Change your habits and you change your future.
*  Count your blessings and even more important write them down.
*  Be a realistic optimist.   You don't go all Pollyanna on life and ignore reality
*  Be generous.   Strange as it sometimes seems but giving to others will up your optimism.
*  Smile a lot because it's contagious

Social Connections

*  The more good friends you have the easier your life will be.
*  Clients who become friends are the easiest sale you will ever make (and most satisfying)
*  Those who give social support to others when they need it get some of the greatest benefits.
*  Those who survive stress the best are the ones who make the most effort to connect with friends frequently.

Stress

*  See problems as challenges and not threats
*  Don't sweat the small stuff because its all small stuff.

Do you know who the natural born persuaders are?

I'm talking about the ones who always seem to get what they want?    They are the people that put a smile on your face when you see them coming.  The ones who brighten up your day just by showing up.  They are ones that are almost impossible to say no to.   Happy people give a positive energy that is addictive.  We will gladly forgive them for being slightly less competent because we feel good in their presence.   We are happy to cut them a little slack because they lift our spirits.

Happy people have a big advantage over their more serious or negative peers because....

So before you head out to meet a client, make a presentation or deliver a speech remember to up your happy.    You will be a lot more persuasive if you are in a happy mood.   So crank up your happy tunes, watch some  funny you tube stuff or recall a funny story.   Just remember this...

BONUS....and good news just gets better because happy people not only enjoy life better but they are healthier and live longer

The simple secret to be seen as being smarter

"Asking for advice makes you look more competent and not less"

Asking for advice is an admission that you don't know the answer.   Most people are reluctant to admit that they don't know something because they believe that they will appear as incompetent.      The good news is, that is not how others will perceive you.   By admitting you don't have an answer and asking for advice you come off seeming to be more intelligent according to a recent Harvard Business School study by Allison Wood.

Why does asking for advice have a positive effect on your reputation?

1.  Asking for advice is a highly efficient way to gain knowledge.   Your adviser may recognize this and believe you to be more intelligent for doing so.  

2.  Asking for advice can be interpreted as you having confidence. Your willingness to demonstrate vulnerability signals a confidence to take a risk.   

3.  Asking for advice is similar to a sincere compliment.   Asking for advice strokes your adviser's ego. After all you must be pretty smart to be asking them for advice. 

Bonus....by asking for advice people will often tell you how to make the sale.      A young lady who took my Power Persuasion Course asked her client for some advice to make her presentation better?  The client was more than happy to give her some advice.   She expressed her great gratitude for his advice and made his recommended changes.    She proudly took back her presentation with the changes to show him.   The client was pleased and proud and gave her some business....beautiful!

When shouldn't I ask for advice?

When the answers are ridiculously obvious!  Then you will just come off as seeming to be incompetent. 

  

It's easy to get referrals if you know how?

"The easiest sale is when a potential customer is referred to you from an existing customer"

How many referrals have you gotten this year?   The reason most people don't get business referrals is they either don't ask for them or they are doing it wrong.   Here is a typical scenerio....

You.......say Mark by chance do you know anyone who could benefit from my services?

Client......Not off the top of my head but let me think about it and I'll let you know.

Net result.....Zero referrals, you get discouraged and don't bother asking for referrals anymore.  Does this sound familiar?

Good News....by using the proper persuasion techniques you can make it rain referrals on you!  Here are the persuasion techniques used in my system....

1.  Ask for a favor (Also known as the Ben Franklin Effect)   Ben found out that by asking for a small favor from an opponent, that person would feel more friendly towards him after granting his favor)   Strange as it seems, when someone does a favor for us they start liking us more.  It also empowers people to be asked for a favor or advice.    After all if they are in a position to grant favors or give advice they must have some power and influence.  

2.  Reciprocity.   When you give a person something (a gift or favor) most people feel the need to reciprocate by doing something in return and often something much bigger than what you gave them. 

3.  Because.   After making a request follow it up with a because_______________.   Almost any reason will increase your chances of it being granted.   Of course a good logical reason further ups your chances of it being granted.

4.  Foot in the door.   FITD is when you get someone to do or by something small, it greatly increases your odds of getting a bigger sale or favor.

When is the best time to ask for a referral?

1.  When you and your client both know you did a good job.

2.  When your client has thanked you.

3.  When your client re-orders or re-news your services
4.  When they are happy and upbeat
5.  When you have solved one of their problems.
6.  When you sign up a new client.   They will be happy to give you a referral because it helps them justify their wise decision to use your services.

Here is my tested and proven way to get referrals....

First give them a small gift.    This could be anything from a pen with their name on it, to a gift certificate at the local coffee shop.    Just remember that if you want them to reciprocate don't give them anything with your company name on it  (that just be viewed as advertising).

Second, ask for a favor.    "Peter can I ask you for a small favor"

Third, ask for a recommendation or testimonial letter.   This is an important step to be taken before you ask for a referral.   If they say yes, congratulations!

Fourth,  add because to your request.   "Peter can I ask you for a small favor?   Would you be willing to give me a recommendation letter for the services I provided you because a testimonial from someone like you would be a real boost to my career?"  (your because doesn't have to be same as mine its just an example)

Why are testimonial letters so valuable?

Even if you don't eventually get a referral you have a most valuable piece of paper (testimonial) that will make getting future business easier.  The more testimonials you have the more social proof you will have of your competency.

Testimonial letters allow you to let someone else do the bragging for you, so you don't have to.  It also causes the writer to like you more.   After all, you are recognizing them for their status and power by asking for their recommendation.  This greatly strengthens your business and personal relationship making them more loyal to you.

Testimonial letters are  the FITD (small favor that can lead to a bigger favor....a referral)

Fourth, show sincere gratitude.   Tell your client why the testimonial means so much to you and your future business.

Fifth, now that you have the testimonial letter its ok ask for a referral.    Your client has already endorsed your competency and ability so its only natural that he would be willing to give you a referral, right?

Finally.......ask for a referral.   "Peter can I ask you for a favor?   Do you know anyone who would profit  from my services because your recommendation would carry a lot of weight?

Remember this.....When you ask for a testimonial you validate that persons knowledge and status.   You make them feel good about themselves so they feel good about you.   Asking for a testimonial is a compliment.

7 fun easy ways to make...A Killer First Impression

"You only get one chance to make a killer first impression"

Science tells us that first impressions...

* are made within seconds (or even less)

* are very hard to change

* can be changed with the right techniques and time

Good News.....science can also teach us how make a 'killer first impression'

We are programmed to judge a book by its cover. Think back to the cave man times.   If you saw someone approaching, you had to make a split second decision; friend or foe?   If you saw the high grass moving you had to decide is it the wind or some animal that wants to make me it's next appetizer?  We evolved to make quick decisions because out life depended on it.

Think back to the first time you met the people in your life.    What was your first impression of them?   Were your impressions accurate?  You, me and everyone else place an astounding amount of value on first impressions.   Unless you like doing things the hard and difficult way, it just makes sense to put some time and effort into making a 'killer first impression'.

Making a strong first impression is easy if you follow these tested and proven suggestions...

1.  Appearance

Whether we like it or not, looks matter a lot.   We see someone enter a room and we immediately judge; status, wealth, health, intelligence and whether we think that person might be a friend or foe.  We've said yes or no to ourselves mentally before that person even says a word. 

I can't give specific recommendations as to how you should dress other than this.....

* dress to the image you want to project.    If want to be perceived as a financial adviser, dress that way.  If you want to be perceived as  bad ass biker guy, load up on the tattoo's, chains and leathers.   

* your appearance includes your vehicle, your office, your briefcase and even your accessories.

* your body language also projects an image.   Do you walk tall and proud like someone of great importance, aggressively like a WWF wrestler or  do you look at your feet and avoid eye contact like someone without confidence.   You are projecting an image!

2. Encourage them to talk

The best way to do that is to let them talk twice as much as you.   Encourage them to open up with good open ended questions.   The best 2 words to get someone talking is.....'tell me'.   Tell me why you use that product.   Tell why you've had good success with  ______?    Tell me how you got into this business?  Tell me what you like to do for fun?

People like to talk about 2 things; themselves and the things they like and never ever interrupt them!

3.  Eye contact

Try to maintain eye contact about 80% of the time when they are talking and 60% of the time when you are talking.   Here is why....

*You appear more confident and trustworthy

*You appear more personable and intelligent

* You appear more engaged with them

* It makes the conversation seem more intimate 

Pssst......just don't carried away with too much eye contact or you will appear to be a psycho!

4.  Introduce yourself like James Bond (sort of)

Can you remember how he introduced himself?    He would confidently be the first to extend a hand, look them square in the eye and say.....Bond, James Bond.   

I would like you to do something similar only start with the first name as in......James, James Bond.   The reason for this is that you say your first name two times.   This greatly increase the chances that someone will remember it.   Plus, the quicker you get to using each others first names the quicker you will lower resistance and get them comfortable with you. 

5.  Remember their names

I will be the first to admit that I'm not that great at remembering names.   However, I am getting better because I keep working on it.  Here are some tips..

* repeat back their name as soon as they tell you it.   As in..It's a pleasure meeting you John.   

* use it again as soon as practical to cement it in

* ask for business cards

* associate their name with something silly.   If John was tall and black hair, I would think 'Long John Black Hair'   

6.  It pays to be passionate

Passionate people grab our attention and engage us.   We love to hear from people who are passionate about life or whatever they are talking about.   So go ahead and get excited because that excitement tends to knock our socks off and makes a killer first impression.

Be expressive.   Those who gesture and modulate their voice tone and volume are deemed to be more intelligent and believable.   Being expressive is how we convey passion.  

Remember this....people may be interested in what you do however if you are passionate about why you do it, that is what motivates them to want what you want. 

7.  Sell in the sunshine

What is the point in trying to make a big impression when you or your client are having a bad day.  Too much negative energy to accomplish anything.  However, I am at my best when something good has already happened.   And when your client has had some good news, they are more likely to be open to your killer first impression.

Also, I beautiful sunny day is the perfect day to make a connection or make a  pitch.   So....sell in the sunshine.