You have no idea how powerful a compliment can be?

"Some people are so stingy with their compliments you would think it was coming straight out their bank account"

Being appreciated is one the basic needs of humans.   Nothing makes us feel more appreciated than a genuine compliment.   So why are people so stingy with their compliments?  It doesn't cost a penny and yet can flood the recipient with the feel good hormone oxytocin.   And that's just the tip of the iceburg.   Here are some of the other benefits of a sincere compliment....

1.  Increase your likeability

2.  Lower resistance to your requests or persuasions

3.  Make the giver of the compliment appear to be confident and even more powerful

4.  Help to personalize a relationship

5.  As Shakespeare said....the scent of the rose clings to the giver (or something like that)

6.  And perhaps best of all it can cause the other person to induce reciprocity..

Understanding reciprocity and compliments..

A sincere compliment can make the receiver want to do something nice in return (reciprocity).   Let me tell you a little story..

Several years ago I was booking a flight for a holiday in Mexico.   I couldn't book the flight online as I usually do because I was also booking for a friend was coming from another city and we would be sharing the same room.   So I called the airline to book our flights and hotel room.   

The problem was the airline was in the process of changing their booking system and long story short, everything was screwed up.    So the biggest challenge I faced was getting through to an agent.   For 2 days I kept being put on hold for hours and could not get through a live human.   GRRRRRRR....

On the third day I finally got to talk to an agent named Melissa.   My frustration got the best of me and I started to unloaded that frustration upon her.   A minute or so later I realized that I was being a jerk because it wasn't her fault the system was so messed up.  So I apologized and she proceeded to solve all of my issues (well at least the one's related to my holiday plans haha).

When everything was done I said to her.....Melissa I must say you have been awesome.   You've been more than kind and patient than I deserved and I must also say that you have a sweet voice and give off such a warm positive energy that I've enjoyed talking to you.   Yah, I know an awesome compliment, right?

The compliment was sincere and certainly not intended for anything other than to be my way of saying thanks.   Melissa got a little emotional and then told me what a day from hell she was having dealing with so many frustrated people.    I asked for her managers contact information so I could pass on the compliment to her boss for her  superior customer skills.

End of the story....nope!   Five minutes after I hung up Melissa called back to tell me she had notified the hotel to ask for VIP status.  I didn't know what that meant but of course I thanked her.

On the flight to Mexico the attendant offered me and my companion free drinks...nice.   When we got to the hotel there was flowers and a bottle of wine in the room and a personal welcoming note from the Hotel manager. We were also given a free room upgrade  Plus a gift certificate for supper at the hotel.   Sweet.

So my queston is....why would anyone be stingy with their compliments?

One more thing..

Studies show that even false flattery works.   I'm certainly not recommending that however it does show how powerful compliments can be.  

Here is one the best compliments I ever got...

And finally I will have one for you...

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