"The power of a good compliment is only limited by its lack of use"
A good compliment is a wonderful gift that costs the giver nothing and makes both the receiver and giver feel good. It can also make you more likeable and lead to; friendship, love and new business opportunities.
When you make someone feel good about themselves, they will credit you for helping them attain the good feeling. It is like a gift and that gift triggers reciprocity. Reciprocity is when you feel the need to repay a gift, kindness or favor and often with something greater than what you got. This doesn't happen all of the time but frequent enough that it is a terrific investment.
"Most people give out compliments like it was coming straight out of their bank account"
All of us have three great emotional needs; acceptance, appreciation and attention. A good compliment can fill all of those needs. So why be stingy? Knowing how to deliver a terrific and timely compliment can
be good for business and even make you a better human being. In any relationship (personal or business) a sincere compliment is the applause that refreshes.
Prepare to praise and prepare to be rewarded for it
A good compliment should be in your tool box of persuasion techniques. It can lower a client's resistance instantly and cause them to give you a serious look. It's hard to find a rapport building technique that works faster than a compliment, so why not prepare to praise. Before you next big client meeting ask yourself, what can I compliment them on? Knowing what you are going to say ahead of time will make it easier for you to slip it into the flow of the conversation.
Don't just praise the obvious like most others do
When someone is a known expert on something, they know it. When you compliment that expertise, it's something they've probably heard a hundred times and it means little to them. Compliment them on a less obvious skill and their ears will perk up.
Imagine that you've just heard a very polished and professional speaker. Saying to her that she did a great job is nice but something she's heard many times. Saying to her something like this; 'you must have worked very hard for a long time to have become the polished speaker you are now'. Now you've really got her attention plus you've opened the door for a meaningful conversation about the time and work she put into her area of expertise. That is much more valuable than just a thank you.
A business building compliment
Done right this is a form of a compliment that most don't think of but can be very productive. Ask for advice or an opinion. Asking for advice is a way of saying that the other person has expertise above and beyond yours. It causes the other person to think better of you, since you were obviously smart enough to seek their wise counsel. Just don't make the mistake of asking for advice on something the other person is not great at. When they know they have no expertise in that area they wonder why would you ask? Then their estimation of you can drop.
A terrific first impression
If you know you are about to be introduced to someone scan for something to compliment them on. Instant like-ability! Imagine you are being introduced to a guy and he say's something like this, 'I'm really happy to meet you Mary, I couldn't help but notice that everyone here seems to hold you in such high respect.' How could you not like someone who says that?
One more thing...
Always use their name when giving a compliment. We love to hear people say our name. It personalizes the compliment and increases it's attention getting powers. Most people don't think to do this but then you are not most people.
How to build your business and become a better person at the same time?
Compliment everyone! Don't just save your compliments for important people or people who can help you. Remember what I said earlier? Some people throw around compliments like it was coming out of their bank account. A compliment is a gift and it costs nothing, so be generous.
Some folks go through life rarely hearing any kind of praise. That's kind of sad. So make the world a better and kinder place by looking for something/anything to praise others for. Make it a habit because it will make you a better person in the process. Be the one that others see as kind and generous. It cost nothing and yet can make someone's day.
So compliment the President of the company and the beggar on the street because it will make their day and yours too! Make it a habit.
Advice from John Gottman the expert on making relationships last
John's research has identified the magic ration of 5 to 1. For every criticism you need to have 5 positive things to say to your spouse in order to maintain a long term happy relationship. I'm thinking this is not only good advice for couples but for your employees, customers and peers as well.
Compliments make you appear to be self confident
A person without confidence will rarely if ever hand a compliment. They don't want to draw attention to themselves. A confident person values his own opinion and that's what you show when you give a compliment, confidence!
5 compliments a day makes your troubles go away
Ok, I just made that up however it makes good sense to me. We need to make praise a habit. So practice on everyone and judge for yourself the results? I tried this for 30 days and here is what I witnessed...
1. People seemed happier to see me
2. I made a lot of people smile
3. I was called; charming, nice, kind (and a flirt)
4. Clients lost their resistance to hearing my ideas and proposals (more persuasive).
5. People like to do things for me!
So what have we learned?
1. A good compliment is a gift
2. Don't just praise the obvious
3. Prepare to praise
4. Don't just praise the obvious like most people do
5. Compliments can help you make a terrific first impression
6. Always attach their first name to the compliment
7. Compliment everyone (it's good for business and your soul)
8. The magic ration for relationships is 5 comliments to 1 criticism
9. Be the giver of compliments and you will appear to be more self confident
10. You may be perceived as a flirt! (that's ok I can deal with that...haha)
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