How to tell if someone likes you?

"The quickest and easiest way to know if someone likes you is if they laugh at your jokes"

Think about it.  That annoying guy at work, when he cracks a joke do you laugh?    That guy you have no interest in that keeps hitting on you, do you laugh at his jokes?   That narcissistic woman who you feel disdain for and is full of herself, do you laugh at her little cracks?    

Oh sure we can fake a chuckle when the boss makes a joke however it's obviously not sincere.   And guess what?   Others can see your fake chuckle.  

So if you want to know whether your client likes you?     How easily is it for them to laugh at your witty remarks?

 What are the best kind jokes and witty remarks to make?    Yep, self deprecating jokes are the safest kind to make.    Being able to laugh at yourself is actually a display of self confidence (as long as you do it sparingly).   Over due it and you might lose respect.  

If you and the other person can share a good laugh together then you can be comfortable knowing that they like you!   It's just that easy!

When we laugh we release the hormone oxytocin into our body.   Oxytocin if the feel good hormone that leads to bonding.    Mothers and babies are flooded with oxytocin at birth which causes them to bond.   A good hug release oxytocin and so does laughing.   Oxytocin lowers our resistance to others and causes us to trust others.  

Just seeing others smile and laugh releases oxytocin.   So......

BONUS.... another method to tell is someone likes you is to look into their eyes and see if their pupils dilate (expand).   When we see or hear things we like our pupils dilate and when we don't like something or someone our pupils contarct (think beady eyes).   Of course we have to remember that bright lights make pupils contract so bear that in mind.  

The amazing power of a compliment

"The power of a good compliment is only limited by its lack of use"

A good compliment is a wonderful gift that costs the giver nothing and  makes both the receiver and giver feel good.    It can also make you more likeable and lead to;  friendship, love and new business opportunities.

When you make someone feel good about themselves, they will credit you for helping them attain the good feeling.  It is like a gift and that gift triggers reciprocity.   Reciprocity is when you feel the need to repay a gift, kindness or favor and often with something greater than what you got.  This doesn't happen all of the time but frequent enough that it is a terrific investment.

"Most people give out compliments like it was coming straight out of their bank account"

All of us have three great emotional needs;  acceptance, appreciation and attention.   A good compliment can fill all of those needs.   So why be stingy?   Knowing how to deliver a terrific and timely compliment can

be good for business and even make you a better human being.   In any relationship (personal or business) a sincere compliment is the applause that refreshes.   

Prepare to praise and prepare to be rewarded for it   

A good compliment should be in your tool box of persuasion techniques.   It can lower a client's resistance instantly and cause them to give you a serious look.   It's hard to find a rapport building technique that works faster than a compliment, so why not prepare to praise.  Before you next big client meeting ask yourself, what can I compliment them on?   Knowing what you are going to say ahead of time will make it easier for you to slip  it into the flow of the conversation.   

Don't just praise the obvious like most others do

When someone is a known expert on something, they know it.   When you compliment that expertise, it's something they've probably heard a hundred times and it means little to them.   Compliment them on a less obvious skill and their ears will perk up.    

Imagine that you've just heard a very polished and professional speaker.   Saying to her that she did a great job is nice but something she's heard many times.   Saying to her something like this;   'you must have worked very hard for a long time to have become the polished speaker you are now'.    Now you've really got her attention plus you've opened the door for a meaningful conversation about the time and work she put into her area of expertise.  That is much more valuable than just a thank you. 

A business building compliment

Done right this is a form of a compliment that most don't think of but can be very productive.   Ask for advice or an opinion.   Asking for advice is a way of saying that the other person has expertise above and beyond yours.   It causes the other person to think better of you, since you were obviously smart enough to seek their wise counsel.    Just don't make the mistake of asking for advice on something the other person is not  great at.   When they know they have no expertise in that area they wonder why would you ask?  Then their estimation of you can drop. 

A terrific first impression

If you know you are about to be introduced to someone scan for something to compliment them on.   Instant like-ability!    Imagine you are being introduced to a guy and he say's something like this,  'I'm really happy to meet you Mary, I couldn't help but notice that everyone here seems to  hold you in such high respect.'   How could you not like someone who says that?

One more thing...

Always use their name when giving a compliment.   We love to hear people say our name.    It personalizes the compliment and increases it's attention getting powers.   Most people don't think to do this but then you are not most people.   

How to build your business and become a better person at the same time?

Compliment everyone!  Don't just save your compliments for important people or people who can help you. Remember what I said earlier?    Some people throw around compliments like it was coming out of their bank account.    A compliment is a gift and it costs nothing, so be generous.   

Some folks go through life rarely hearing any kind of praise.   That's kind of sad.   So make the world a better and kinder place by looking for something/anything to praise others for.  Make it a habit because it will make you a better person in the process.  Be the one that others see as kind and generous.   It cost nothing and yet can make someone's day.  

So compliment the President of the company and the beggar on the street because it will make their day and yours too!   Make it a habit.

Advice from John Gottman the expert on making relationships last

John's research has identified the magic ration of 5 to 1.    For every criticism you need to have 5 positive things to say to your spouse in order to maintain a long term happy relationship.   I'm thinking this is not only good advice for couples but for your employees, customers and peers as well.  

Compliments make you appear to be self confident

A person without confidence will rarely if ever hand a compliment.   They don't want to draw attention to themselves.  A confident person values his own opinion and that's what you show when you give a compliment, confidence!

5 compliments a day makes your troubles go away

Ok, I just made that up however it makes good sense to me.   We need to make praise a habit.   So practice on everyone and judge for yourself the results?   I tried this for 30 days and here is what I witnessed...

1.  People seemed happier to see me

2.  I made a lot of people smile

3.  I was called;  charming, nice, kind (and a flirt)

4.  Clients lost their resistance to hearing my ideas and proposals (more persuasive).

5.  People like to do things for me!  

So what have we learned?

1.  A good compliment is a gift

2.  Don't just praise the obvious

3.  Prepare to praise

4.  Don't just praise the obvious like most people do

5.  Compliments can help you make a terrific first impression

6.  Always attach their first name to the compliment

7.  Compliment everyone (it's good for business and your soul)

8.  The magic ration for relationships is 5 comliments to 1 criticism

9.  Be the giver of compliments and you will appear to be more self confident

10.  You may be perceived as a flirt!   (that's ok I can deal with that...haha)

   

  

Why is Donald Trump leading the polls? What can we learn from it?

I thought it would interesting and fun to examine how and why Donald Trump became the leading contender for the Republican Party's Presidential nomination for?   What are the lessons we can learn?  Trump is beating the pundits expectations dramatically.   Few if any political experts thought he could maintain front runner status for this long.

4 reasons why Donald Trump should NOT be leading the pack?

1.  He is misogynistic...(contempt, dislike or prejudice against women)

He judges women by their physical appearance.   When referring to fellow Republican Carly Fiorina he said, 'would you vote for that face to be President'.    When referencing tough questions from Fox reporter Megan Kelly he said, 'she had blood coming out of her eyes and you know wherever else'.     Referring to his own daughter he said, 'if she wasn't my daughter I would probably date her'.    He has often called women fat, ugly and many other unpleasant names.

Why would any woman vote for him?

2.  He is racist...

Trump has called illegal Mexican immigrants rapists and murderers.   He said he would start to  deport 11 million of them the day he is elected so fast it would make your head spin.

Why would any Latino citizen vote for him?

3.  He is a bully...

He calls his fellow candidates low energy (which is code for lazy)  losers, stupid, ugly, incompetent, and nobody's.

Why would any candidate who has been bullied  support his campaign against the Democratic candidate, if he were to win. 

4.  He makes ridiculous claims without any supporting evidence that any of it is possible..

Trump says he would cancel the right to American citizenship when you are born there.   This despite the fact that it would require a constitution act of congress.

Trump claims he can solve all of  the middle east problems and easily negotiate  with Putin and get him to do what he wants. 

He would build a massive wall between the US and Mexico and make the Mexicans pay for it.  How?

I could go on and on but you get my point?  

4 reasons why Trump is leading in the polls...

1.  Halo effect..

The Halo Effect is when we assume that if someone is great at one thing, that they will be great at most anything else they do.   So when a famous actress gives public advice on medical matters despite having no expertise, and millions follow her advice that is the halo effect.  

Even large corporations fall for this.    Many times a powerful leader from one industry has been hired away to lead a company in some totally different field and failed massively.   Different corporations have different cultures and the skills to run one company are not necessarily the same skills needed at another.

The skills to run a business are not the same skills needed to run a country.   The power skills to run a large corporation are not as important as diplomatic skills are to a future President.   In business you can just say, 'you're fired' if you don't like the results you are getting, however you can't say. 'you're fired' to congress or the constitution?

When we see someone who projects power, extreme confidence and a clear sense of what needs to be done  we assume that they are capable of getting it done.   Of course history tells us that many a man with those qualities led his country into a disaster (think Hitler for one)    That is the 'Halo effect' working on our non conscious mind.  

2.  Simple repeatable message with an emotional hook..

In Obama's first election his message was,  Yes We Can!   Simple, repeatable and an anti-establishment emotional hook.

Trump's message is. Make America Great Again!   Again simple, repeatable and with another anti-establishment emotional hook.

To be effective your message has to be heard and seen over and over again.   Trump does that.

3.  Magical thinking...

Faith healers, psychics, cult leaders, con artists, advertisers and politicians are masters of magical thinking.  They promise they have the answer to whatever ails you or your country.   A vote or some of your money is all you need to make the problems go away.   

We are susceptible to magical thinking, that's why we buy lotto tickets (despite million to one odds)  buy stuff we don't need (think beauty products etc)   give our money to con artists (think Bernie Maddoff)  and vote for politicians who promise us the moon and deliver us into recessions.   

We can't help ourselves, we just want so hard to believe in the quick fix.    

Donald Trump is the master of magical thinking.   He tells voter he will be God's greatest job creating President ever!  (no explanation how except that he knows some very very smart people).   He says he will make the world bow down to the US....we will win  so many times that you will get tired of winning!  He will deport 11 million people and change right to citizenship for illegals born here, so fast it will make your head spin.   

When pushed on how he is going to do all of this, he says he is very very rich and knows lots of really smart people.   Not big on details because details destroy magical thinking.  

4.  Appeals to fears and prejudices...

Trump is taping into the fears of many white citizens that black and brown people are over taking the country.   He is also taping into the strong anti establishment feelings in his party.   Many of them fear that they are losing influence and Trump they think is the man to stick it to the old boys.   

Trump whenever he is pushed on his racist or misogynistic comments will often say, well I just don't have time for political correctness.   What does that really mean?   It means he is giving himself and his supporters the right to say mean and hateful stuff under the guise that they are not putting up with political correctness.  Those who share his stated beliefs are only too happy to excuse him for insulting or demeaning others.

5.  Donald Trump is a show man...

Trump wants to project extreme wealth so he flies around in a massive plane with his name plastered over it.  What other billionaire (think Gates or Buffet who are many times wealthier than him) who would do that?   They are confident in their wealth and don't have need to be so garish.   However, Trump does know that if you want the job, you have to look the part, so he flies around in a plane that at least in size matches Air Force One (the Presidents plane).

When Trump speaks he literally owns the podium.    He doesn't need a teleprompter because he wants to display extreme confidence and of course mocks the others that do.   He doesn't give speeches he just rambles and entertains.   Saying outrageous stuff and making fun of or insulting others.  It's quite a show and like a car accident even if you don't want to look, you can't help yourself.  

So can Donald Trump win the Republican nomination?   In my mind, maybe.  

Can he become President?   Almost certainly not.

Why?   Because he has offended to many blocks of voters.    It is near impossible to see him winning a majority of women, latino's and blacks to remain in contention. 

Still there is a perverse pleasure in watching and waiting for the next outrageous thing to come out of his mouth!

Tell me what you think?

How to blow a first impression...

Priming (its magic for persuaders and manipulators)

In most things there is an easy way and a hard way,  Strange as this may sound, most choose the later.   It's not that they want to do things the hard way, it's just that no one ever explained to them the concept of priming.  (I sure wish I would have known this earlier in my career)

So what is priming?

Priming is preparing the other person to be persuaded.  It has little to do with logic and everything to do with managing emotions. The purpose of priming is to create the conditions to make the person receptive to your persuasions. As you read on you will also see how others are using these techniques on you!

It's fun to watch a commercial or walk into a business and think to yourself....hey I know exactly how you guys are trying to influence my buying decisions! And of course  I know you will use these powerful techniques only with the best of intentions, right?

There are many techniques to use when you want to prime your customer to buy into what you are proposing.  In this article I will use just one and post other techniques in later articles.   Ok, lets have some fun...

1.  Using images/visuals to prime your persuasion....

For starters I am using an example popular with the masters of manipulation....politicians.   If you are writing an article on Hillary Clinton and you want to prime the reader to believe she is sincere, warm and open, you of course would use the picture on the left.

Now if you want to prime your reader to think negatively about her, then the picture on the right will do the job nicely.   In this picture she looks harsh, angry and unapproachable. So whenever I see articles about politicians, I can usually guess the bias of the writer  based on the picture selected.

The prime demographic for beer companies is young males.   So they use images of young, healthy and sexy women.  They are trying to prime you to believe that by drinking their beer, you will have more fun than should be legal.   As they say, sex sells.

Just seeing an image of a brain primes us to think what we are about read is more intelligent.   And of course I need all the help I can get.    (but let's keep this our little secret)

Time for a food fight?   This image would prime you to believe that if it's not organic, your food is going to kill you.    Of course if that were true we all be dead by now!    But then again  organic food is a hugely profitable business....hmmmm!  (follow the money)

This is an image that was used by Fox News.   They were priming their viewers to believe that welfare rates were sky rocketing out of control.   In reality the increases were small but by not starting the graph at zero, the image creates a very different prospective.

Have you ever really listened to those Viagra and Cialis commercials?   At the end of the commercial they will tell you all of the potential side effects from taking their drug.  When you listen carefully they tell you that it can cause anything from anxiety to 4 hour erections and potential death (kidding).  When I first heard their commercial it made me wonder why would anyone buy it?

Here is what they do to get around that problem.   They show you images of the happy loving couple having a fantastic romantic time.  The images over power the reality of the dangers spoken of.  You are primed to think about romance, love and a perfect relationship and most people don't even process the negative side effects of the drug.

And finally....

You are priming the expectations of your clients by the way that you dress.   Are you projecting the kind of image that you want to be perceived as because people tend to accept the image you are projecting as real. Think about that?


This is the power of priming with images!   Stay tuned for more priming techniques in coming articles...

The magic of being silly

“being silly is a delicious escape from the shackles of reality”

And you thought being silly was, ah…silly. The stewards of seriousness have been playing with your mind. They want you to buckle down, grow up, work hard and have no damn fun. So you were trained to believe that silly isn’t serious. Well, good thing for you that I am here to straighten out this mess. Silly is stunningly, serious stuff! Silly is greatly underrated and underappreciated. Someone has to set the record straight and I am just the guru to do it.

“if you lose the ability to be silly, you are susceptible to becoming a slave”

Ok, suspend your belief that I am bonkers for a few moments and stay with me, while I enlighten you. First, silly is misunderstood. Forget those notions about silly being a useless waste of an adults life. Silly has many benefits. It can make you happier and richer. And as I stated, the absence of silly might make you a slave.

You see when they shake the silly out of you, you become more compliant. You believe the mantra’s of the warrior’s that sign your pay check. You start to believe that ‘slow and steady’ wins the race, and hard work will be rewarded (that’s management code for, I pay you a little, you work your butt off and we the company make a lot of money). Slowly but steadily you slip into master/slave mode, all the while thinking that what you are doing for the master, is what is best for you. With silly you see the impossible as possible and the dream of the big escape is alive.

“silly is like a bonk on the head to the serious”

The word silly is derived from the German word ‘selig’ which means sacred or holy (I know…who knew). So when you are being silly, you are actually reaching a higher level of consciousness. You are closer to that place where creativity resides. Silly removes the impossible faster than a reality star can take off her clothes. With silly anything is possible. It opens the mind to all that is possible, it removes the blinders that have deceived your inner genius. Silly and her mate goofy are the parents of that beautiful child…creativity.

Through the years they have changed the word silly, to mean a useless behaviour as practised by adults. Not so bucko. Silly is incredibly useful. As I’ve explained silly enables creativity. Any brain storming session (mine is called fun-storming, but more of that later) should commence with silliness. This opens the mind to being truly creative. The sillier the better!

“silliness is a high creativity and a high energy state”

This one was a no brainer for me. It has been well documented that belly laughter is equal to a physical workout. And guess which activity gives you the best belly laughs? Right, being silly! So you get in a state perfect for developing creative ideas and you get a work out that makes you laugh at the same time. Still think that silly is silly? But wait, there’s more…

“silly is a shortcut to bonding”

Silly is most on display when children are playing. That is how they learn and bond. But this also works for big kids like us. We have all seen parents playing silly with their kids. Now, its time to dust off silly and play with your big friends. Silly is the crazy glue that bonds consenting adults (sorry saying consenting adults, just sounded funnier than saying friends).

“it’s silly to worry about past mistakes, when there is so much fun to be had making new one’s”

The thing that prevents us from making more mistakes (and subsequently learning new things) is that we fear making a fool of ourselves. Once you get comfortable with silly, you will have developed a confidence that fears no criticism. You will be free to explore and discover new possibilities. Failure will mean you are trying and having fun doing it. Doesn’t that blow your ever loving mind….having fun with failure?

“why seducers love being silly”

I’ve given you a pile of good reasons to be silly but I just love saying….but wait there is more! Yep, silly is seductive. You knew that was coming didn’t you? Silly is super seductive. It displays confidence and fun which in combination are so damn attractive, as to be irresistible. Who can resist a good belly laugh, it is highly contagious.

Ok, class is over…now go out there and make a fool of yourself, it‘s for the good of your health and your pocketbook. And no thanks necessary, you can buy me a beer later (I‘ll probably be on the beach laughing at some serious warrior).

You matter when...

You matter when....

When you love the work you do and the people you do it with.

When you are so gracious, generous and aware that you think of other people before yourself.

You are the problem solver not the problem creator.

When you leave the world a better place than you found it.

When you continue to raise the bar on what you do and how you do it.

When you teach and forgive before you rush to judge and demean.

When you touch the people in your life through your actions (and your words).

When kids grow up wanting to be you (or inspired by you).

When someone knows you love them unconditionally.

When you see the world as it is but insist on making it more like it coul be.

When you inspire a Nobel prize winner or a slum dweller.

When the room brightens when you walk in.

When you give someone you total undivided attention.

And when the legacy you leave behind lasts for hours, days or a lifetime.

When you cause someone to have a good belly laugh.

Your turn.....what would you add to the list?

Instant like ability!

"We are most easily persuaded by those who like and admire us"

Even the most powerful people appreciate public praise.   I have yet to witness anyone who disliked having kind words said about them to others.   Some may say it embarrasses them and maybe that is so but inside they love it.  When we are witness to someone telling others about how wonderful or talented we are it causes us to like that person.   It just feels good.

But wait it gets better...

When you praise someone in public it doesn't just affect the person on the receiving end of the praise.   It also affects those that are witness to the praise.  It has a positive affect on their opinion of the one doing the praising.   We like those that are generous to others as long as we believe they are sincere.   If it is phony praise meant to suck up to someone important then it becomes an extreme negative and can ruin your reputation.

5 Benefits of being a public praiser...

1.  Whatever resistance to you or your ideas is melted away by the  appreciation for a sincere compliment made in public.  That person is then open to at least hearing out your requests or ideas.

2.  Deepens the bonds of friendship and like ability.

3.  It is a confidence builder for both you and the other person.

4.  As long as it is perceived as genuine others will admire you and sometimes secretly wonder if you might one day praise them publicly.

5.  When you get really good at it, you can make people cry  (especially women)  and nobody calls you a jerk for doing it.

Bonus..

When you shine the spotlight on someone else they will love you for it.     And making others feel good also makes us feel good about ourselves.



Something to really think about...

"If you get your business based on the best price, product or service; you could lose that business when someone with a better price, product or service comes along.   However, if they like you then you  really have to screw up before they will take their business elsewhere"

A simple way to appear to be smart

"Taking notes can make you appear to be more intelligent and persuasive"



More intelligent....

Our brain makes assumptions all of the time.   Some we are aware of but most are subconscious assumptions.   Strange as it may seem we interpret a note taker as being more intelligent.

We perceive the note taker as being focused and thorough.  It brings up images of Doctors and Lawyers who must get things recorded accurately.   It also makes us feel that every word we say is important.   And anyone focused so intently on what I say must be intelligent.   Right?

More persuasive...

When someone is trying to persuade us and starts out by sincerely trying to understand our thoughts and beliefs, we pay attention.  And we assume they are sincere because they take the time to record our thoughts.   A person who  takes notes on what we say, causes us to feel important and which in turn lowers  our resistance to that person.  We feel appreciated and understood.

When the cops are interviewing witnesses they take notes on what they are told.  One of the reasons is because they know that the person being questioned is going to give more accurate answers when they see that their answers are being recorded.  

The effect of note taking is also that most people start to open up and reveal the real objections to the persuasion. 

And here's the real good stuff...

"When they feel they have been heard and understood their minds are open to hear what we are going to propose"

Imagine how you would feel if you were talking to someone and they said something likes this....

"I really like what you just said so give me a second, I'd like write that down" 

Or...."That sounds important to me so let me write that down"

Note taking is a powerful persuasion skill!

Do...

*  Use a quality pen not one of those company logo pens you swiped from the convenience store

*  Use a quality pad or portfolio.   Extra points... if it has a leather cover.

Don't..

*  Try to write down every dang word.   That would be annoying.  Just jog down important points.    Extra points...if you say something like...'excuse me but that seems important I'd like make a note of that'

Bonus...

When you are note taking you do less talking and more listening!   People who listen and ask more questions are viewed as more intelligent than blabber mouths.   

Quit doing things the hard way?

Imagine that you are on this tropical beach laying in that hammock. It is a beautiful sunny day with a gentle breeze off of the ocean. You are warm, relaxed and peaceful. The sun feels sooo good on your body. You are totally contented and happy. Swaying gently in your hammock the thought occurs to you, if I have any problems I can't remember them. Live is good and you are at total peace with yourself in this warm tropical paradise.

Now think about me the writer (that would be me). How do you feel about me?  Odds are that if you really allowed yourself to imagine being in that hammock on the beach that you will feel positive about me. Just by imagining being warm and relaxed improves your feelings about me or anyone else you immediately come into contact with.

So why am I telling you this? Because the feeling of warmth is very seductive. If you want to persuade someone to or to buy your product or service you should always try to warm them up first. This is a persuasion technique called priming. It is priming you with a good feeling before introducing any request.

I'm not saying that you should bring them pictures of tropical beaches (but it might help). There are many ways to warm up a person. Here are a few...

Give them a hot drink. Researchers found that just holding a hot drink (without drinking it) caused people to feel warmer towards others. They also found that when people were given a hot drink they became more generous and more likely to give. So you want your sweetie to do something for you, give them a hot drink first.

A warm handshake warms both of you. Now if you live in a cold climate you need to ensure that you warm up your hands before shaking hands with someone. If you know are going to be introduced to someone, you can discretely warm up your hands. Just rub your hands together rapidly. They won't know why but they will instantly feel a closer bond with you by shaking a warm hand. Cool huh?

TIP.....Imagine you are about to meet someone.  Before you are introduced hold a hot cup of coffee in your right hand. Just before you shake hands transfer the cup to your left hand.  Your hand will be nice and warm. Sub consciously the other person will just assume you to be a warm person because we all know that warm hands equal a warm heart, right?  That first impression is so powerful and research says...lasting. Try it!

Who doesn't love a good hug? Sadly there are a very few who don't like to be touched but not many. The problem is its not a good idea to hug people you just met in a business situation. But if you are going to persuade someone you know and you can safely hug them they will melt in agreement. Just thinking about this makes me want a hug?

I know a business lady who hugs her clients whenever they meet. They love her and wouldn't dream of taking their business elsewhere. Because...

"When you earn your business with the best price, product or service...you might lose that business if someone else has a better price, product or service. But if they really like you....you really have to screw up before they go elsewhere"

A great smile will warm any heart. You've got it so use it! It's darn near impossible to resist returning a great smile.

Warm words. Researchers found that when bell hops went to carry bags from a room for guests that if they mentioned it was a beautiful sunny day their tips increased. Just talking about a sunny day was enough to warm up the other person. So words matter. Oh, by the way did I mention its going to be a beautiful sunny day today? And how would you feel about buying me a Baileys and coffee?

And finally....

That's right....its good to have beautiful sunny images to warm up you and your clients. Researchers have found that just by looking at pictures like the one above it also makes you more creative. So right now my desktop background picture is this one.

Now that I've warmed you up to my ideas, did you know that I love teaching others how to become....'Powerfully Persuasive'?

Contact me at edsemail@shaw.ca and lets talk if you want to laugh and learn at your next event?